Well some suggested that I make some comments on the recent colours competition, because

• I have generally far too much to say on a regular basis
• I am the only one with more time on my hands than a rather lethargic sloth
• Chances are that no-one will and pictures of the competition generally deserve some sort of commentary when I put them into the webpage

So what of the competition you might ask?...After the two sides met before Christmas, Trinity was firmly ahead, only due to the fact that

• We cheated
• Our wall is far to absurd for any *real* climber to use
• Liam's (sorry you're first) is rather bigger than most

The points margin was a mere 200 points, which, in theory, could have been a lot larger had we *not* had the politeness to let only 2 women's scores count for the final mark....Who's fucking idea was that anyway?!?

So 19th February was the date set for the second round of the colours melee, but we couldn't get away with holding it in Trinity again. So UCD was the place, Saturday morning was the time and bouldering was the order of the day...closely followed behind by 3 chicken burgers, 5 pieces of toast, 4 sticks of rhubarb and a tub of marmite.

By the time I got there, having spent about 2 days travelling from the outback on the feckin buses, there was a small crowd gathering. There to greet the author's eyes was 21 boulder problems and 3 top-ropes ranging in difficulty from not difficult to fairly bitchin' hard....But hey, this was the colours, and you're not allowed to have any poxy problems that you spend ages trying to figure out only to get completely pumped, enough so that you can't hold a pint afterwards in the local drinking hole.

Derek had arranged a trip to the hairdressers to give him some extra spikes in his hair so he could burst UCD's bubble. Angie was there, so we politely told her that, chances are, she was lost and that she had found her way to a bouldering competition....She seemed rather shocked and confused by this and had to sit down. John immediately said that most of the problems were too easy to bother with and was considering heading home. Katie was also sitting pensively on the bench, almost certainly because of that huge night of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll that she had the night before.....and there was our eminent (good word eh?) and sublime captain, Patrick who was there to kick ass regardless of whether it was UCD's or Trinity's....mine first please....mmmm....

So without much hestitation, the bouldering had begun. The problems ranged in grades from about 4b to about 6a (ish), set by Brian O'Dwyer (Barry's brother) and Ronan Browner. Most of the problems had absolutely cracking moves but completely fair for the grades of most student climbers. Most of the UCD climbers had already gotten their kit off showing off their "shimply ghorgious mhushelley physiques" which wooed many a climber, even me!?...or maybe not....nope...definitely not. Not to be outdone of this catwalk, some Trinity climber braved his body to the elements....and proved his theory of less wind resistance.....until Richie farted....or then again maybe it was that goo they handed out later.

Among other notable events, were

• Some goon with an Australian hat with corks hanging down
• Barry kicking ass at all the problems
• Patrick insisting on "tight" ropes for all Trinity climbers being top-roped
• Trinity climbers making sure they got in on the free thing, introducing themselves to the sauna
• No bananas or indeed Red Bull (do I get paid for free advertising?)

So up to the bar, and a long wait for the results. But the wait was soon to be comforted by many a brew from UCD's finest ale house and the prospect of another defeat from the hands of Scotland in the international rugby. After about an hour of fixing....I mean calculating....Declan (UCD's captain) was announcing the winners.....Okay, so we didn't exactly kick ass....but hey, it's the taking part that counts....and besides....where are the prizes... Top out of UCD were a pile of UCD men on equal points, with Jules and Aine being top femmes fetales. Out of the woodwork for Trinity, was Barry "The King" O'Dwyer followed closely by John, Patrick and Graham, with Grainne, Renate and Angie being the "waay cool" climber babes...(sincere apologies if I've screwed these results up because I've had 3 pints on a pretty much empty stomach).

So that was it, UCD winning the inaugural (Is that the right word?) colours competition. I'd like to say thanks to all those people who helped in arranging either round, who climbed in either round, who set routes in either round and me, for writing this godamn report thing....Good job guys!